God calls you to the place where your deepest gladness and the world's greatest hunger meet.
I've been trying to write something lengthy about ASLA, something personal or better yet, something insightful or inspiring. I wouldn't be able to convince you all that ASLA was life-changing by saying
"ASLA was life-changing", right?
With that, I find myself at a continual loss for words. I think I'm scared of writing something that I wouldn't be satisfied with after, or something I would reread and look back at as "just another tribute".
I would like to begin by saying that I hate beginnings. Whether starting an academic paper, staring blankly at an empty word document, or starting anew in a metaphorical sense, I hate it. I hate the idea of starting from scratch. I hate the feeling of being at the bottom, of erasing, of starting. Tabula rasa and I are not friends!
Starting college for me could be described as the latter part of a log jam, where all the passion in high school was built up slowly and upon reaching the peak, it's an instant plunge into a pool of pessimism. In other words, passion was a dead corpse pretending to be alive.
Every single day that I dragged my feet to school, one question kept pounding my head.
Have you done anything meaningful lately? Math was harsh on me, so 'have you done anything meaningful lately' was replaced by 'Tangina makaka-stay ba ko sa ME'.
Second year came, and 'tangina naka-stay nga ako sa ME' (for now) was replaced by
Do something with your life!
I joined ASLA, and apparently it was a huge step in achieving this.
To my dismay, and to quote my batchmate Evan,
ASLA destroyed us. Physically, mentally, and the harshest of all, emotionally. Everyday our bodies ached more, and moreso did our minds and hearts. Everything we previously knew and believed in was shattered, destroyed, and challenged.
What I find ironic is that you see things clearly when you're at the bottom. It's like you're forced to achieve nirvana. And when you're at the bottom, you don't push others further down; you help each other up. As one batch, we prove to be a living example (Leadership by example, yes?). We learned together, we supported each other, and I could proudly say (without consulting everyone individually!) that we grew to be better people; better students, servant-leaders, and citizens of this nation.
Before entering ASLA we were 37 individuals. At the beginning of the congress, it was made clear that we would all start at the bottom, hence we were all equal. At the end of it all, we emerged as one batch, ready to create ripples of change.
What sets this apart from everything I've been to in the past is that a number of weeks have already passed, and my passion has not faltered. In fact, it has never burned stronger. I'm sure there are 36 more people to back me up on this.
In fact, you don't have to attend such things like retreats or congresses to make you feel like you could save the world (But I do strongly, highly, super duper-ly recommend applying for ASLA! :D). Be idealistic, dream big, want world peace (with sincerity, haha) or whatever because these things are free and your imagination is limitless. Don't let anything stop you, because you own your thoughts and you own your dreams. Tao lang ako? That excuse must seriously end. Student lang ako? So freaking what. Pilipino lang kasi ako. The
lang part should be removed for the betterment of our self-esteem and nationalism.
Hmm. I've never written anything this long since my last research paper.
I guess beginnings aren't so bad after all.